


The supersizers go wonderland

by beckysue



Category: sue perkins - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2379713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckysue/pseuds/beckysue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>both sue and Giles  travel to a new universe</p>
            </blockquote>





	The supersizers go wonderland

my name is Giles Coren and I am a columnist and restaurant critic for the time and my co-star Sue Perkins who is a comedian,actress and writer and we were asked by the BBC to  
star in a TV show called the supersizers before and after the experience we will have medical tests to see how the diet affected us.

And in this week's episode we will be travelling to a new universe it is called Wonderland  
we don't know how we got here or how to get back to England but what we do know that it will be a brand new experience will first go to the kitchen but the weird part about it was the fact that it was just a big building with just a kitchen inside nothing else just thought I would point that out. So we went to the kitchen to meet the chef The march Hare who is hard to understand as he never really says anything he just shouts out gibberish in a strong Scottish  
accent and throws dishes and pots around we are not really sure if he is a chef or human for that matter.

Both me and Sue discuses if this is a good idea to be honest it frees like an insane one we  
carried on talking about this while we walked to our hotel before we had got to our room we met up with the other people in the hotel but as time went on I realize we here late for dinner  
I tried to tell Sue but her mind was somewhere else it had been a good ten minutes before Sue had finally heard me she looked me up and down before asking me if I was joking the look on my face most likely told her otherwise without saying a word she started to run most likely  
back to the kitchen. 

For some strange reason I couldn't move I was in shock but I had no reason to be shocked  
maybe it was the fact Sue looked at me liked I was a mess or like I had just lost my mind  
I can't pick which one that was I am not sure but I know I won't be able to get that thought out  
of my mind. Without a another thought I found myself running to try and find Sue instead I found myself more lost then ever as if anyone would care about the fact I was missing they are probably happy about it.

By the time I had found my way back to the kitchen I had no idea on how much time had passed even though the last time I checked it I was about ten or twenty minutes late but am not really sure any more I was kind of hoping that no one saw or heard me walking in late  
but as luck as it I have all the bad luck before I could even walk all the way through the door way I had felt something fly past me and crash into the wall behind me followed closely  
by something else. The strange thing is somehow I had manage to catch it before it hit me in the face without thinking about it I had thrown it back for what I thought was about five  
minutes the room went deadly quiet and much to my horror it looked like it had started  
raining dishes, pots and some other stuff I couldn't say what it was if I had to guess it could  
it was some type of food. Somehow I jumped under a table the pots and dishes carried on flying for another seven minutes while I was hiding under the table I couldn't help think about  
Sue I hope that she hasn't left me here on my own also I couldn't help but to think if she wanted to work with me or what does she really think of me I had all ways wanted to ask but I was to sacred to hear the answer.

 

as I carried on thinking I had suddenly realize that the noise had stopped I had the time to out  
from under the table someone started shouting it was in a strong Scottish accent I think it was the march hare I couldn't understand what he was saying if he was saying anything at all but the one thing I wanted to know was who he is talking to I was hoping it was Sue but after ten it turn out it was some women called the red queen. I wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying but she sounded rude I waited for yet again another 20 minutes went past they were still talking but I had also heard footsteps moving further away from where I was I give it twenty minutes before getting from under the table and running out of the door I wasn't really sure if they saw me or not but all that matters is that I got out of there.

I am still trying to find out where Sue was as I was walking out of the room I realize that I had a phone with me as I was opening it I realize it was turned off as soon as I turned it on a message shown up telling I had four or five text messages from Sue. I was so happy that she would remember me but at the same time I knew she might be a little upset or angry with me  
I can't blame her to be honest I open her first text message which said if I was talking to someone, doing something or if I had lost track of time and it also said to text her back if I was going to be over half an hour so that the march wouldn't get angry if I show up late. before I had opened another text message I looked at the clock on my phone it was about midnight  
before I had done anything else I had just started to walk back to mine and Sue’s room I knew  
there was going to be problems but there is nothing left to do but Sue and tried to tell her what happen even thought she won't believe me I can give it a try I mean what else do I have to lose.

By the time I got about into the hotel it was about two o’clock in the morning I just about remember what number our room was turns out it is on the top floor before I knew it I was standing in front of the door I didn't even had a chance to get the keys out of my pocket the door swung open and much to my surprise a very angry looking sue was standing at the door  
without saying a word she grab me by the shoulders and then threw me into the room. somehow I had manage to stay on my feet before I could even get a chance to say a word Sue suddenly started to shout at the top of her lungs at me to be honest I did deserve it I must have been missing for about five hours or longer by the time Sue had stopped shouting her face was even redder and her eyes looked like they were watering up like she was about to cry I couldn't think of anything to say and when I did try to say something it just made matters worse. I saw some tears roll down her face before I could of done anything she bust out crying she was also trying to talk at the same time I had somehow manage to calm her down five minuets later I tried to tell her what had happen also I had asked her why she had ran off.

She ignored what I had said and instead decided to change the subject to what she was doing  
while I was gone she had sent me a text asking me where I was and after that went by having dinner with the march hare. Sue had no idea what he had cooked so she decided to wait until the march hare left the room for some reason she had got up and found a bin and dumped the dinner in it after that she sat back down at the table and waited for the march hare to show up and without realizing it she had waited for around for three hours before leaving the kitchen. 

 

When she was standing out side when she had remembered about me so she had sent me another text and looked everywhere for me she had looked for hours before she had decided to use her phone and she had decided to text me again Sue had gotten fed up waiting for a reply from me and decided to head back to our hotel room and waited until I had shown  
up but she couldn't stopped getting worried about me. So she had sent me some more text messengers but when I didn’t reply to any of them that's when so had started to get upset  
around two she was about to call the police but wasn't sure if this universe had police. But before she even had the chance to make that call she had heard the footsteps coming closer to the door she was hoping it was me so she had decided to go have a look and was so shocked it was me that she didn't know what to do or say.

While she was talking I had notice that Sue was trying to hide something behind her back  
I had no idea why she feel the need to hide something from me whatever it was she wasn't doing a good job of it anyway that was the end of the first day I still can't believe we have to do a week of this I still don't know how we are going to get back to England also I am not really sure if this is getting recorded for the show if it was I don't think the BBC would allow it to be aired on TV hopefully it doesn't.

It's the second day and I was hoping that it would go better then yesterday and this time I would make sure that Sue wouldn't leave my side at all also I have no idea on what we are meant to be doing at all 

I think we were going to have breakfast with the march hare while I was standing outside the room waiting for Sue to get ready I was hoping that the march hare didn't remembered that  
I wasn't at the kitchen yesterday or the fact I was hiding under one of he's tables when I wasn't supposes to be there I know I have nothing to worry about. I mean what's the worst thing that can happen well to be honest I rather not think about it a couple seconds later sue came outside the room to where I was standing Sue asked me if I was going to get lost again before  
busting out laughing I asked her if she would ever forget about it the look on her face told me the answerer and that was a no.

both me and Sue were walking to the kitchen before we had got even close we had saw the march hare just running about for no reason what so ever we are so busy talking to each other  
that neither of us heard or saw the march hare running up to us nor did we see him standing right in front of us before I or Sue even looked at him he started shouting something I couldn't understand I had tried to calm him down but instead he had other ideas somehow he had mange to throw me to the ground if it wasn't for Sue he would of started to kick or something  
around that area.

While I was lying down Sue was somehow talking to the march hare I had no idea what Sue was saying or doing but I think she was calming him down I had no idea what happen after  
that but the next thing to happen was that Sue was helping me up.

After she had helped me up I had asked her what had just happen Sue said it was because I didn't shown so she had told him why I had never shown up after that the march hare had just ran without saying a word before I could of said a word sue told me that is would not be easy  
at all also she said that we should avoid the march hare for a day or two.

To be honest I had to agree with that idea I still can't understand why the march hare had gotten so upset over that I had no idea he had realized I was missing he is a lot more smarter  
than he looks I mean it was horrible to think that but I didn't know what else to think about him other than the fact he was insane by the time I had stopped trying to think about it Sue was giving me that look again. I really hate when she gives me that look without realizing it I was ignoring what she was saying before I had knew it she give me a small tap to my head  
which had send me into a small shock and without thinking about it I had jumped up and at the same time almost knocking Sue over in the process but I didn't realize it until she had shouted it at me for some strange reason I felt brain dead it's like I had forget how to think  
and how to talk. Sue was still looking at me but this time with a look of concern and confusion on her face and she had asked me if I was ok.

Without thinking about it I had said I was fine but still Sue keep on asking the same question  
over and over again yet again without thinking at all I had started walking back to the hotel  
I didn't know if Sue was following me or not but I didn't feel like checking but as it turns out she was and about half a hour later she had came running right up to me and stood right in front of me. I had tried to walk past her but she had done the same thing but this time she had stood even closer then before I had asked her why was she doing this for some reason Sue had told me that I knew why and that it is for my own good I was in shock I had no idea what she had meant by that without meaning to I had went into a rage. I couldn't help myself I didn't know what I was doing but based by the look on Sue's face which told me she knew that something like this would happen on the other hand I didn't know that something would happen without knowing I had started crying and the next minuet Sue was hugging me and telling me something but I couldn't understand a word she was saying after we were walking back to the hotel well to be honest she was walking and in a way pulling me I didn't say anything and allowed her to drag me there.

By the time we had got back to the hotel I couldn't feel a thing no matter how hard I had tried I would still feel empty on the inside this has been going on for months I don't know how manly but just  
enough to make me feel like I have emotional problems I couldn't even try to think about this  
nor did I want to but every now and again I can't help wondering if I should get help for this I  
don't think I do but some other people I know think I should I should really stop listening to them to be honest I never did listen to them or anyone else for that matter in the first place and still today I don't listen to anyone I really can't help it.

By the time we had gotten to our room it was somehow ten o’Clock at night I had a feeling that time didn’t work in the same way there than it does back home . Sue was still talking  
by the time we were in the room I really wished I was listening because she had asked me a question about I had no idea what it was but I didn't have the nerves to asked her again on what she just had said so I had hoped it was a yes or on question in which I had replied yes  
I wasn't sure if I was right or wrong but by judging the look on her face I was wrong.  
She had somehow knew I wasn't paying attention and was kind enough to say it again  
but I still had no idea what to say so I had to come up with something quickly before she had  
realized but as always I was too late yet again. Sue had started to questioning me but this time  
she was asking a lot more deeper questions but also she wasn't giving me enough time to even  
think of a answer I was trying to tell her that but I was getting cut off not even mid sentence  
I had realized that this will be a very long night.  
Long after the questions were finished the room went silent but it was something about that  
silence that had made me feel uncomfortable also the way Sue was looking at me I know she had given me weird looks before but nothing like this I couldn't really tell what it was that had  
horrified me the fact that I had a emotional outburst or the look Sue had given me before I had a chance to talk to her she had disappeared most likely into another room I really hope that she is not upset with me but most likely she is I can't blame her to be fair not after everything I had put her though.

Later on that night Sue walked back into the room I was in and sat right next to me she had looked me right in the eye and had asked me if I was really feeling ok I didn't want to say anything but as always Sue had known I was lying I had realized that I had to be honest with her I really don't have a choice any more I had told her that I felt that talking about my feeling is a wasted of time.

For a long amount of time Sue sat there just staring at me for some time if I hadn’t asked why is was doing is she would of carried on for hours but as always she had ignored me and had somehow had took my phone out of my pocket and was having some difficulty turning it on  
since the fact she couldn’t keep it still in her hands as I had watch the phone jump from one hand to the other hand I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Out the corner of my eye I couldn't helping seeing Sue give me the evil eye the next thing I had felt was a very painful  
punch from a very angry looking Sue but even that couldn't stop me from laughing yet again  
I had felt a even more painful punch but this time it was in the Stomach it was just enough  
to make me shut up.

That punch was the most painful thing I had felt in my life


End file.
